40: Feeling Uncomfortable

Jesse has just stormed out of Marie's apartment....
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Marie

      Nursing my problems until that's all I am?

      "I have feelings for you, Marie," echoes in my head over and over again, torturing me. DO I feel the same like he said? What if I do?

      I don't need this! I don't need this! I don't need this! Isn't this why I left Champs les Sims?

      I start pacing around my apartment, my head in my hands. Then my mind wanders back to that kiss. I should've known he'd try that. I'd just stopped thinking after my embarrassment about smoothing out his shirt.

      Admit it, Marie. You liked it, I think with a short noise escaping me, and I sink to the floor to curl up into a ball. I did.

      Oh, of course I did! The man is a womanizer after all! Why wouldn't he know how to kiss like that?!

       Feelings... hah! He didn't say what kind of feelings... as he was standing there in my bedroom.

       Oh, I don't know what to make of him! One minute he's laughing, the next he's really nice, then he's kissing me, oh and then getting mad at me when I tell him, again, that I need time. I haven't known him for a week, and he's already under my skin. How long can I keep him at arms' length?

       I let out a huff, stand up, and walk around my apartment, gathering all the wet towels. Then, I remember my wet clothes from earlier. Oh crap! I left them in his car! Now what? I take and dump the pile of wet laundry on my bathroom floor and decide to take a shower. Once my shower is done, I lay out all the wet towels as best as I can over the shower walls and towel rack. I'll do laundry tomorrow. I don't feel like lugging all that to the building's laundry room tonight.

      Clean, refreshed, and feeling a little better about myself, I sit down and turn on the TV. The only thing worth watching is a vampire movie that I remember seeing with Armand once or twice. It's at the part where the guy finally, finally turns his girlfriend. The last time I watched this movie, Armand stopped it here to practically carry, no, he did carry me, off to his bedroom... where I chickened out.

      "Cocktease," I hear Cristina's voice in my head. I hate her.

       I turn off the TV, slam the remote on the coffee table, and decide to just go to bed early.

       Once in the bed, I hug the spare pillow to me and wonder what Jesse's doing right now. Did he find the bag of clothes?

       I let out a resigned sigh, giving those clothes up for ruined. He'd probably left them in the bag, and they're probably mildewing at this very moment.

       I know where he lives... I think. I could go over there and... No. It's still raining.

      I lie here and listen to the rain outside, and before I realize it, I'm asleep. My dreams are a mish-mash collection of recent events with Jesse as even my subconscious tries to make sense of it all.

Erin

     Bryce and I go and step into the shower together. There's not a whole lot of room in there for the two of us, but neither of us mind. After we get out, I put my underwear back on and lie down on the bed. He watches me, pulls a pair of pajama pants out of the dirty clothes, sniffs them, shrugs and mumbles about how they're still okay.

     He gets into bed and pulls me close, looking like he wants to talk about something. I'm so glad I'm learning to read him better.

     "Hey," I say just to say something.

     His eyes search mine before he answers, "Hey." Then he gets quiet again.

     "What's wrong?" I ask quietly.

     "I'm sorry for running off into the bathroom right after sex like I did yesterday morning," he says quietly. 

     Wow, I guess he didn't feel like building up to what he had to say, I think as I get quiet. Well, I guess one could say I STAY quiet since I haven't said anything since I asked him what was wrong.

     I look up at his eyes in the dark and think about yesterday morning. That was when I'd told him I'd kissed Sean back. I hate myself for what I did. I hate that I hurt Bryce, but I had to admit to it.

     "Please tell me what's going on inside your head," he asks after an unknown amount of time goes by, his intense stare looking like it's trying to penetrate my skull.

     "I was just thinking about yesterday morning," I answer. "About how I hurt you when I told you all that. I'm sorry."

      "You would try and turn this around to yourself, wouldn't you?" he asks sardonically.

      "Well..."

     "Well, you've already apologized for that about twenty times now, and I've forgiven you." He takes in a breath of air to continue, "Would you just let me apologize without you trying to place all the blame on yourself?"
       I guess I was doing that.
       He starts talking again after we've been silent for a few moments, "I didn't want you to see."
       "Maybe I could've helped," I say quietly.
       "Not right then. I was mad at you."
      My brows come together as I think about what he said. I guess Bryce doesn't show all of his emotions all the time like I thought. He hid his anger.
      "Doesn't it make sense for you to be angry?" I ask, watching his face just as intently as he watches mine. "So you needed to go off and deal with it alone. I can understand that." His brows come together for a few seconds before he rolls his eyes and goes back to a blank expression. "And then we talked about it," I finish.       

      "Once you stopped crying," he points out. "What made you cry like that? What specifically? Do you remember?" He reaches down to lightly brush a few rogue hairs out of my face before he rests his head on his hand again.
     "I was thinking how you were mad at me and how distant you'd gotten there at the end. And I was mad at myself for doing something so stupid. And I was worried you hated me and that I'd betrayed your trust."
      A pained look comes over his face, and he pulls himself up to kiss me, his lips pressing hard on mine. All those bad thoughts start circling around in my head again, clawing at my self-esteem, and I start crying.
      "No! No no no no no," he croons, wiping my tears. "I shouldn't have asked you to tell me what you'd thought, but that's what I'm apologizing for: making you think them. Forget them, okay?"
       I sniff and move my head in little, quick nods.
      "Okay." He starts talking again. "Two things: One, you didn't betray my trust; you made a mistake, and two, I don't hate you. I love you. I've told you that over and over again, but maybe I should just repeat it constantly for the rest of my life."
     And then he starts doing precisely that while kissing me various places on my body that he can easily reach in between the 'I love you's. It doesn't take long for me to start thinking he sounds ridiculous, and the playful look in his eyes doesn't help. By the time he gets to my stomach, I'm laughing.
      Suddenly, his warm hands are on my stomach, tickling me.
      "No!" I squeal loudly. I hate being tickled.
      "Shh!"
      I pant a little before I quip, "Oh, don't you dare tell me to 'shh'! If you didn't want me to do that then you shouldn't have ticked me." I still can't help but smile back to his infectious grin.
      "All right," he says, still grinning like a buffoon. Then he reaches down, pulls the covers up over us, and wraps an arm around me.

     I feel his breath on my shoulder before his stubble lightly scratches me when he kisses me. "I like having you here," he says emphatically.
     I feel butterflies in my stomach and lightning in my veins as I brace myself for what he might say next. My eyes widen, and I work at keeping my anxiety at bay as he pulls me to him as close as he can get me. He doesn't say anything else, and I slowly relax.
     "I love you, Bryce," I breathe even though I think he's gone to sleep already. After a few minutes, I join him in dreamland.

Adele

    "You just like that movie because the fox's name is Todd," Helen teases me while we sit here on the playground's play set after school lets out. We'd been talking about Disney's 'The Fox and the Hound'.

    "No, I just think the fox is cute," I reply, defending myself.

    "You think Todd is cute!" she says and starts giggling hysterically.

    "Quit it!"

    She gasps and starts frantically tapping my arm. "There he is, and he's walking over here!" she loudly whispers.

    I dare not turn around to look. I don't really care anyway. He's just some stupid boy after all.

    "Hey Helen, I bet Todd here that you couldn't skip a stone more than one hop," I hear Eduardo say from behind me on the ground.

    "What?! I can so! You're so going to lose your bet, Eduardo," she challenges as she slides down the pole.

     Oh boy. Here we go again, I think and roll my eyes. That boy loves riling her up, leaving me and Todd behind most of the time. It's not my fault it always seems to happen. She's the one running off and leaving me.

     "You know something?" I hear behind me as Todd climbs up the ladder. Eduardo and Helen's arguing gets fainter as they get closer to the water. "I really don't care how many times she can skip a stone." He sits down in front of me.

     I don't know what has gotten into Helen's head about me and Todd because it's not like I like him or anything. I mean, he has nice hair. I can't quite figure out why I like his hair, but I do.

    "Then why did you bet him?" I ask.

    "I didn't. He bet me, remember? Don't tell him I told you this, but I think he likes her." He grins at me.

     "Could have fooled me," I say, getting bored. Helen is boy crazy, and she'd love it if she knew that Eduardo likes her.

     "I know, right?! It's like he doesn't know anything else to do, so he fights with her." We both look out over the water. "I get where he's coming from," he adds quietly.

     "Why does he think he has to fight with her to have something to do?! That's insane."

     "So what should I tell him to do instead?" he asks me with an eager look in his eyes.

     "I don't know. Just... stuff. Look, this is weird. I gotta go." We both stand up, and I slide down the pole.

     "What's weird?" he asks as my feet hit the sand.

     "Asking me for relationship advice?" I ask when I spin around and look up at him.

     "Well, you're her friend."

     "Did he put you up to this?"

     "Er... no," he admits. "Just... trying to be helpful." He slides down the pole himself and walks in my direction after I'd started heading towards my bicycle.

     "Well, he doesn't have to argue with her to get her to talk to him."

     "Then give me some ideas," he requests, and I turn around and notice for the first time that his eyes are a very light blue.

      My eyes open wide before I shrug real big. "I don't know. Um..." He steps right in front of me. "Uh, flowers? I don't know, my dad just... talks... and stuff." I start feeling uncomfortable.

      "And stuff," he echoes before he flips his hair out of his eyes.

      "I don't know. You figure it out. Maybe a compliment or something. Look, my dad is waiting for me at home. It's picnic day."

      "Your dad goes on picnics with you?" he asks with a look like he doesn't believe me.

      "Yes, as long as I make the food."

      "You can cook?" he asks incredulously.

      "Um, no, not really, not on a stove or anything, but he doesn't really like to or he just gets me to do it," I say quickly, ready for this strange conversation to be over with.

      "Okay. Well, have a good time then," he says when I get my bicycle.

      "Okay," I answer and start riding towards home.

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Helen Hoffman is a townie that comes with Sunlit Tides. Also, I forgot Adele had ballet. Why oh why did I have to sign her up for that? That made her get out of school much later than I wanted, making me feel like I must say that in the story it's not as late as the pictures indicate (if anyone notices). :)