105: What Are You Doing With My Daughter?

     "I want you to tell me what you're doing with my daughter," John Parren asks me as a direct order.
     "Uh..." Just what EXACTLY does he mean by that? Is he about to kill me because I sleep with her? Marie's a grown woman, but dads never see it like that. "What do you mean?" I ask.
     "I mean I want you to tell me what you're doing with my daughter," he repeats, hiding his irritation if he has any. He can perfectly mimic my accent, and that really freaks me out. I'm sure he's doing that on purpose to unnerve me.
      "Well, ... I'm dating her?" I reply in question, wondering if that's what he means. Going along that line of thought, I ask, "Do you mean what are my intentions?"

      He pretends like that hasn't occurred to him yet. "Now that you mention it, yes. What are your intentions?"
      Oh fuck. Here goes. This is NOT how I pictured this going. I wanted this conversation to be so much smoother than this carte blanche interrogation. Shit. I'll just be honest. "I love her. I'd love to marry her someday. In fact," my heart races, "I was wanting to ask for your blessing, wanting to do it right and all that." Please. Don't. Kill. Me. I pray he appreciates my honesty.
      Like he suspected I'd say all that, he asks, "How long have you known her?"
      You know the answer to that! "I met her days after she got here, a few months."
     "And from what you said at the trial, it took some convincing to get her to date you," he states in a leading way.
     "Well, I mean, she'd just gone through all that shit with what's-his-name." Crap. I hope he's not going to get pissed off I just cussed. Dammit. I let out a huff. "I've realized since then that I shouldn't have pushed so hard in the beginning..." No! Bad direction to take! I quickly add, "But I was just so sure that she's the one I've always wanted." I've just signed my death certificate.
     "What made you realize you shouldn't have pushed so hard in the beginning?" he asks exactly as I suspected he would.
      "We had a fight about it." When I foolishly tried to get her pregnant in order to make her mine. "I realized she wasn't in the same place I was, and I've backed off some since then."
      "And what 'place' are you in?"

      I huff again, wishing once more I could've somehow done this conversation in a less awkward way. "Mr. Parren, I'm ready to get married. Marie and I have even talked about this, not directly, but we've both talked about what we want out of life, and it's the same thing." Here goes. Time to stop dancing around me saying I'm going to ask and just ASK. "It may even be a year from now, but I wanted to ask you this in person if I could. Could I please have your blessing to marry your daughter if she says yes?"
      "No," he says immediately, crushing me.
      "What?" I breathe in shock.
      "In a year, that may change," he tells me, beginning his explanation, and I can't hide the way my shoulders slump. "But let me tell you what I see, Jesse. I see in front of me a man that is so eager to fall in love and get married that he doesn't take the time to really discover the woman he claims to love. Now, I know in some ways, Marie is very mature for her age, but she isn't in others. I know those are things she also wants, even if I don't think she's ready for them."
      I want to sink down into the ground at my feet. It's the age thing. Just kill me now.
      He continues, only this time in a more careful voice, "I also see a man that is so eager to fall in love and get married that when one woman doesn't work out that he'd quickly bounce to another, even if he's still attracted to that other woman."
      I think I know what he means, but I don't want to actually think it.
      "I have been trained to be very observant, Mr. Gillespie. You are a very loyal individual, perhaps even to a fault."

     I run my hand down my face, wondering why he'd say that. Sure, I'm a loyal person, but I wouldn't go that far. There have been times when I'd be willing to fight my own best friend for something we'd both want.
     He continues, watching me. "Perhaps not." He pauses. "During the trial, witnesses referred to Erin as 'the new girl.' How long before Marie arrived was she here?"
     "Well, I don't know how long she was here, but I'd met her a week before Marie came."
     "Was she already with Bryce when you met her?" he asks like he can read my mind.
     I bring my hand down and look back at him, trying to guess where he's going with this. If he's going to try and make like I'm still jealous of Bryce, I'm going to stop that right now. "Not officially, no, but sometime between the night I met her and the next day, they decided to be a couple." He watches me, and I glare back. "I know what you're getting at. Sure, I made a play for her. Guess I'm not so 'loyal' all the time. She turned me down. Well, she had a screaming fit, shoved me out of her house, and threw something at me. I was mad. I was mad at my best friend, but I got over it. So if you're implying I'm still hung up on her, you're wrong."
     He puts his hands in his pockets. "I'll go ahead and say it because I want you to know exactly why I said no. That IS what I'm implying."
     "Well, you're wrong. This has nothing to do with her. If you're saying I started going after Marie too fast after that, then you've gotta understand that's just how I go about it. Why should I stay hung up on one girl when there's another gorgeous one right there!"
     "This is just what I meant. You're in love with the idea of being in love. It has little to do with my daughter," he growls.

      He starts to walk away, and I snap, "So, you'd rather I mope around because I got turned down? For your information, I did. But I'd just met her! I got over it and was ready to move on. I'm not 'in love with being in love.' I'm IN LOVE with MARIE!" I pause and do something that's probably a bad idea. "And by the way, I don't have to get your blessing. This is the twenty-first century."
     SHIT! I mentally scream when I see John turn around with murder in his eyes. I just mouthed off not only to Marie's father, a man I wanted to like me, but someone who knows a billion ways to kill a man!
     I swallow and sound much more respectful as I say, "Sir, I'm telling you the truth when I tell you I love her. I realize she's not ready, but I still wanted your blessing."
     His voice sounds like boiling acid as he hisses, "You will not have my blessing unless I see a change, and if you so much as get engaged to her before you have it, they'll not be able to find any trace of you."
     And there it is. The threat. My heart pounds in fear, but my face shows no sign of it as I ask, "Have you noticed Marie is a grown woman? She's going to do what she wants."
     We hear Marie call out, "Jesse?" She's at the front porch. Glancing her way, I see she's seen us, and she makes her way in our direction.
      John very quietly replies, "Then I trust you'll not push her in that direction." He walks over and hugs Marie before kissing her on the forehead. Then, he proceeds to the house.
      Marie walks up to me and smiles. "I'm sorry if my father gave you a hard time."

     "Hey. He's a dad. It's in the job description." I wrap my arms around her and think about all the things he said. I'm not 'in love with being in love'! I'm in love with the woman in my arms. All he saw was me flipping out because I'd never seen Erin in a bikini; that's all. I'm not blind, but that doesn't mean I'd rather have her than Marie.
     Here's what needs to happen to make John happier: Marie needs to totally get over what's-his-name, like we'd said; then, we do need some time to really, really get to know each other; then, and it'll probably be a year, we can get engaged, married, and so on. John just needs some time to adjust to his little girl being grown up. Once he sees I really love and want to help Marie, he'll relax. Besides, I did tell him a year. He'll change his mind.
     She pulls back and asks, "Did he give you a hard time about your job?"
     I back my head up. "Huh? No. We didn't discuss it."
     She reddens, maybe guessing what we did talk about. "Oh. I just remember when I told him about your job that he said he really wanted to talk to you then."
     I give her an 'I don't know' expression and slowly shrug. Hm. What's wrong with my job? No, I'm no doctor or lawyer or what-have-you, but with what Gram left me, I don't need to be. I only work because I want to. "Well, he never mentioned it."
     "Okay," she says, and we decide to re-join the party.