40: Feeling Uncomfortable

Jesse has just stormed out of Marie's apartment....
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Marie

      Nursing my problems until that's all I am?

      "I have feelings for you, Marie," echoes in my head over and over again, torturing me. DO I feel the same like he said? What if I do?

      I don't need this! I don't need this! I don't need this! Isn't this why I left Champs les Sims?

      I start pacing around my apartment, my head in my hands. Then my mind wanders back to that kiss. I should've known he'd try that. I'd just stopped thinking after my embarrassment about smoothing out his shirt.

      Admit it, Marie. You liked it, I think with a short noise escaping me, and I sink to the floor to curl up into a ball. I did.

      Oh, of course I did! The man is a womanizer after all! Why wouldn't he know how to kiss like that?!

       Feelings... hah! He didn't say what kind of feelings... as he was standing there in my bedroom.

       Oh, I don't know what to make of him! One minute he's laughing, the next he's really nice, then he's kissing me, oh and then getting mad at me when I tell him, again, that I need time. I haven't known him for a week, and he's already under my skin. How long can I keep him at arms' length?

       I let out a huff, stand up, and walk around my apartment, gathering all the wet towels. Then, I remember my wet clothes from earlier. Oh crap! I left them in his car! Now what? I take and dump the pile of wet laundry on my bathroom floor and decide to take a shower. Once my shower is done, I lay out all the wet towels as best as I can over the shower walls and towel rack. I'll do laundry tomorrow. I don't feel like lugging all that to the building's laundry room tonight.

      Clean, refreshed, and feeling a little better about myself, I sit down and turn on the TV. The only thing worth watching is a vampire movie that I remember seeing with Armand once or twice. It's at the part where the guy finally, finally turns his girlfriend. The last time I watched this movie, Armand stopped it here to practically carry, no, he did carry me, off to his bedroom... where I chickened out.

      "Cocktease," I hear Cristina's voice in my head. I hate her.

       I turn off the TV, slam the remote on the coffee table, and decide to just go to bed early.

       Once in the bed, I hug the spare pillow to me and wonder what Jesse's doing right now. Did he find the bag of clothes?

       I let out a resigned sigh, giving those clothes up for ruined. He'd probably left them in the bag, and they're probably mildewing at this very moment.

       I know where he lives... I think. I could go over there and... No. It's still raining.

      I lie here and listen to the rain outside, and before I realize it, I'm asleep. My dreams are a mish-mash collection of recent events with Jesse as even my subconscious tries to make sense of it all.

Erin

     Bryce and I go and step into the shower together. There's not a whole lot of room in there for the two of us, but neither of us mind. After we get out, I put my underwear back on and lie down on the bed. He watches me, pulls a pair of pajama pants out of the dirty clothes, sniffs them, shrugs and mumbles about how they're still okay.

     He gets into bed and pulls me close, looking like he wants to talk about something. I'm so glad I'm learning to read him better.

     "Hey," I say just to say something.

     His eyes search mine before he answers, "Hey." Then he gets quiet again.

     "What's wrong?" I ask quietly.

     "I'm sorry for running off into the bathroom right after sex like I did yesterday morning," he says quietly. 

     Wow, I guess he didn't feel like building up to what he had to say, I think as I get quiet. Well, I guess one could say I STAY quiet since I haven't said anything since I asked him what was wrong.

     I look up at his eyes in the dark and think about yesterday morning. That was when I'd told him I'd kissed Sean back. I hate myself for what I did. I hate that I hurt Bryce, but I had to admit to it.

     "Please tell me what's going on inside your head," he asks after an unknown amount of time goes by, his intense stare looking like it's trying to penetrate my skull.

     "I was just thinking about yesterday morning," I answer. "About how I hurt you when I told you all that. I'm sorry."

      "You would try and turn this around to yourself, wouldn't you?" he asks sardonically.

      "Well..."

     "Well, you've already apologized for that about twenty times now, and I've forgiven you." He takes in a breath of air to continue, "Would you just let me apologize without you trying to place all the blame on yourself?"
       I guess I was doing that.
       He starts talking again after we've been silent for a few moments, "I didn't want you to see."
       "Maybe I could've helped," I say quietly.
       "Not right then. I was mad at you."
      My brows come together as I think about what he said. I guess Bryce doesn't show all of his emotions all the time like I thought. He hid his anger.
      "Doesn't it make sense for you to be angry?" I ask, watching his face just as intently as he watches mine. "So you needed to go off and deal with it alone. I can understand that." His brows come together for a few seconds before he rolls his eyes and goes back to a blank expression. "And then we talked about it," I finish.       

      "Once you stopped crying," he points out. "What made you cry like that? What specifically? Do you remember?" He reaches down to lightly brush a few rogue hairs out of my face before he rests his head on his hand again.
     "I was thinking how you were mad at me and how distant you'd gotten there at the end. And I was mad at myself for doing something so stupid. And I was worried you hated me and that I'd betrayed your trust."
      A pained look comes over his face, and he pulls himself up to kiss me, his lips pressing hard on mine. All those bad thoughts start circling around in my head again, clawing at my self-esteem, and I start crying.
      "No! No no no no no," he croons, wiping my tears. "I shouldn't have asked you to tell me what you'd thought, but that's what I'm apologizing for: making you think them. Forget them, okay?"
       I sniff and move my head in little, quick nods.
      "Okay." He starts talking again. "Two things: One, you didn't betray my trust; you made a mistake, and two, I don't hate you. I love you. I've told you that over and over again, but maybe I should just repeat it constantly for the rest of my life."
     And then he starts doing precisely that while kissing me various places on my body that he can easily reach in between the 'I love you's. It doesn't take long for me to start thinking he sounds ridiculous, and the playful look in his eyes doesn't help. By the time he gets to my stomach, I'm laughing.
      Suddenly, his warm hands are on my stomach, tickling me.
      "No!" I squeal loudly. I hate being tickled.
      "Shh!"
      I pant a little before I quip, "Oh, don't you dare tell me to 'shh'! If you didn't want me to do that then you shouldn't have ticked me." I still can't help but smile back to his infectious grin.
      "All right," he says, still grinning like a buffoon. Then he reaches down, pulls the covers up over us, and wraps an arm around me.

     I feel his breath on my shoulder before his stubble lightly scratches me when he kisses me. "I like having you here," he says emphatically.
     I feel butterflies in my stomach and lightning in my veins as I brace myself for what he might say next. My eyes widen, and I work at keeping my anxiety at bay as he pulls me to him as close as he can get me. He doesn't say anything else, and I slowly relax.
     "I love you, Bryce," I breathe even though I think he's gone to sleep already. After a few minutes, I join him in dreamland.

Adele

    "You just like that movie because the fox's name is Todd," Helen teases me while we sit here on the playground's play set after school lets out. We'd been talking about Disney's 'The Fox and the Hound'.

    "No, I just think the fox is cute," I reply, defending myself.

    "You think Todd is cute!" she says and starts giggling hysterically.

    "Quit it!"

    She gasps and starts frantically tapping my arm. "There he is, and he's walking over here!" she loudly whispers.

    I dare not turn around to look. I don't really care anyway. He's just some stupid boy after all.

    "Hey Helen, I bet Todd here that you couldn't skip a stone more than one hop," I hear Eduardo say from behind me on the ground.

    "What?! I can so! You're so going to lose your bet, Eduardo," she challenges as she slides down the pole.

     Oh boy. Here we go again, I think and roll my eyes. That boy loves riling her up, leaving me and Todd behind most of the time. It's not my fault it always seems to happen. She's the one running off and leaving me.

     "You know something?" I hear behind me as Todd climbs up the ladder. Eduardo and Helen's arguing gets fainter as they get closer to the water. "I really don't care how many times she can skip a stone." He sits down in front of me.

     I don't know what has gotten into Helen's head about me and Todd because it's not like I like him or anything. I mean, he has nice hair. I can't quite figure out why I like his hair, but I do.

    "Then why did you bet him?" I ask.

    "I didn't. He bet me, remember? Don't tell him I told you this, but I think he likes her." He grins at me.

     "Could have fooled me," I say, getting bored. Helen is boy crazy, and she'd love it if she knew that Eduardo likes her.

     "I know, right?! It's like he doesn't know anything else to do, so he fights with her." We both look out over the water. "I get where he's coming from," he adds quietly.

     "Why does he think he has to fight with her to have something to do?! That's insane."

     "So what should I tell him to do instead?" he asks me with an eager look in his eyes.

     "I don't know. Just... stuff. Look, this is weird. I gotta go." We both stand up, and I slide down the pole.

     "What's weird?" he asks as my feet hit the sand.

     "Asking me for relationship advice?" I ask when I spin around and look up at him.

     "Well, you're her friend."

     "Did he put you up to this?"

     "Er... no," he admits. "Just... trying to be helpful." He slides down the pole himself and walks in my direction after I'd started heading towards my bicycle.

     "Well, he doesn't have to argue with her to get her to talk to him."

     "Then give me some ideas," he requests, and I turn around and notice for the first time that his eyes are a very light blue.

      My eyes open wide before I shrug real big. "I don't know. Um..." He steps right in front of me. "Uh, flowers? I don't know, my dad just... talks... and stuff." I start feeling uncomfortable.

      "And stuff," he echoes before he flips his hair out of his eyes.

      "I don't know. You figure it out. Maybe a compliment or something. Look, my dad is waiting for me at home. It's picnic day."

      "Your dad goes on picnics with you?" he asks with a look like he doesn't believe me.

      "Yes, as long as I make the food."

      "You can cook?" he asks incredulously.

      "Um, no, not really, not on a stove or anything, but he doesn't really like to or he just gets me to do it," I say quickly, ready for this strange conversation to be over with.

      "Okay. Well, have a good time then," he says when I get my bicycle.

      "Okay," I answer and start riding towards home.

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Helen Hoffman is a townie that comes with Sunlit Tides. Also, I forgot Adele had ballet. Why oh why did I have to sign her up for that? That made her get out of school much later than I wanted, making me feel like I must say that in the story it's not as late as the pictures indicate (if anyone notices). :)

39: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Warning: Sensitive situations ... or just a little different

(and please forgive my pathetic photo editing skills)

Belinda

      I ask Sean if we could sit down for a minute, so he asks me if he could buy me a drink. I say yes since I have a feeling we're both going to need it.
      I nod my head at the poster behind the bar and ask, "You know who that is?"
      "Um... no. Some singer, obviously," he says.
     "She's my great-grandmother." I smile widely at him. "She was a jazz singer and got pretty famous in the 30s."
      "Oh," he says and smiles sheepishly at me. "Sorry, jazz really isn't my 'thing.'"
     "Mine neither mostly, although sometimes it's like you can't help but move to some songs, you know what I mean?" I tell him while he looks from the picture to me and back several times.
      He smiles again and says, "I do know what you mean, actually. Especially with that song called In the Mood." A playful grin covers his features, and I debate convincing him to leave before Lynne gets here. "So, can you sing too?" he asks as the bartender hands us our drinks.
      I shrug. "Yes, but I don't take it seriously." I remember the stories my grandmother would tell me about her mother and what fame like that did to her... according to my grandmother's father, that is.
      I'm brought out of my reverie when Lynne walks up behind me, kisses me on the cheek, and says, "Hey, Lindy." Then she turns to Sean and says, "So, this must be the one you were talking about."

      Sean stands politely, turns to look at her, and then stares at her chest for a few seconds longer than necessary.
      Lynne whispers really loud to me, "You're right, he is cute." I roll my eyes and smile before I see Sean smiling too. Lynne leans up against Sean, wraps her arm around his shoulders and starts running her nails across his buzz cut. "Hi, I'm Lynne," she says in a seductive voice.
      Oh boy. Sean, you are in serious trouble, I think and try real hard to remember that this is the same guy that tried to hurt Erin and did hurt Julian. It's not easy. He just looks so cute and innocent... like a little lost puppy.
      I realize I've missed part of their conversation when I notice Sean acts like he wants to leave.
      "Well, let's go," Lynne says and winks at me.
      Of course, Sean is eager for Lynne and me to take him to her house.
     Lynne is normally a very nice, selfless person... except when she feels wronged or someone has wronged those she cares about. It's during these moments that it's like she becomes a different person, similar to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It also doesn't help that she has extraordinary abilities to turn her Mr. Hyde into an unholy terror.
      Lynne is on him like a duck on a June bug the second we walk into her house.
    

     She suddenly kisses him. Holy shit, Lynne! He then breaks the kiss, turns to me and asks Lynne, "But what about your friend?"
      Lynne looks at me and winks. "She can have her turn later."
      I decide to play along, so I walk up to him, run my fingernail down his arm and say, "Besides, I like to watch." Lynne grins widely at me.
     "You ladies do this sort of thing all the time?" Sean asks a little breathlessly while Lynne runs her hands over him under his shirt.
      I let Lynne answer.
      "Not too often. Only when we think we've found someone worthy of this sort of attention," she purrs. Then she 'suggests' that I go and make a few drinks. I shrug and do as I'm told.
      When I come back, Lynne has removed his shirt and somehow convinced him to sit down in one of her chairs. She sits on his lap with her pants off, straddling him while he acts like he's eager to get her shirt off of her as well.
     "I assume you don't need the drinks right now then," I state, trying to act like I'm upset they started without me.
     Lynne looks up, laughs and says, "We can save them for later, hun." Sean pulls her shirt over her head and attacks her chest with his mouth while his hands run freely over her thighs. I go and plop the tray of drinks on the table. Lynne mouths the word 'cuffs' to me and I roll my eyes and go find them. She is so kinky. I'm assuming they're in the 'kinky-shit' drawer.

     I walk over and discretely place the cuffs on the floor before I run my hands over his shoulders, chest and arms. He groans when I catch his hands and bring them up to me. Then he tilts his head back, and I kiss him, pulling his hands down behind the chair before I release his mouth. In my mind, the kiss is like an apology for future events.
     He jumps in shock when he feels the cold metal wrap around his wrists. "What the?!"
     Lynne puts one finger over his lips and says, "Shh! I thought you wanted to play."
     "Not like this," he says nervously. "What good is it if I can't use my hands?"
     I giggle and say, "Well, that's part of the torture."
     Lynne winks at me before leaning down to kiss him again, running her hand down between his legs. He groans like she's driving him insane. Then I notice the switch in Lynne's personality.
     "See?" she asks. "You like to play." He looks at her, wide-eyed, before she points at him and says, "Freeze." He freezes solid. It has begun.
     "I like to play too, Sean," she says while she stands and takes a few steps away from him in her lingerie, looking deadly. He looks like he wants to faint while she walks back to him and runs her fingers down the side of his face.

     "I can't move," Sean says in a panic.
     "I know you can't. That's because I told you to freeze," Lynne responds after she takes a step back to put her finger to her lips in a contemplative gesture.
     "But no, I really can't move!" he says with terror starting to creep into his voice.
     Lynne smiles a little and asks, "Isn't this fun? I like to have fun." She walks around him and wraps her arms around his shoulders. "I know you like to have fun too."
     "Not when I can't move," he says as calmly as he can manage.
     "Would it be more fun if Erin were here, Sean?" Lynne asks him with a wicked gleam in her eyes.
     Sean stops breathing, and I worry for a moment that he's going to pass out.
    "Oh yes, I know Erin." She stands more upright and walks around him, watching his every expression. "Her boyfriend is one of my best friends, so that's how I know you like to have this brand of fun. Just what were you planning on doing the other night, Sean?"
     He doesn't answer her for a few more seconds, so she slaps him across the face. "Breathe, you chicken shit! No passing out on me!"
     "I..." he stammers, "I don't know what you mean."
     A jolt comes out of her fingertip right into his chest, and his body jumps a little from the shock of it. "Wrong answer," she says calmly. "You know exactly what I mean," she snaps. "The other night... when you were trying to drag her into her house. When Julian stopped you."
     "So that's the fucker's name," he says, and Lynne stands back up before she slaps him the other way this time. His lip starts bleeding a little. I can't help but feel grateful she has no close neighbors.

     "Answer the question," she growls. "What were you going to do, Sean?"
     "Fuck you," he says.
     I see in the glass of the door as she laughs up to the ceiling. "Oh yes, I'm sure fucking had something to do with it." She pauses for a second and says, "You wanted to play. Very similar to the way I'm playing with you now, am I right?" He says nothing, so she asks, "It's not quite as fun on the other side of it, is it, Sean?" Then she sends another jolt of electricity into him.
     I turn around and look as a hardened look as it comes over his face, and I know it's going to take more than what Lynne is doing to make him crack. I decide to step in, 'good cop' style.
      Lynne looks on approvingly as I croon to him, "Poor baby." I start working his shoulders and back. "Did I forget to mention how my friend doesn't like people that mess with those we care about?" He shakes for just one moment before he goes rigid again. "We only want an answer to a very simple question." I straighten up to whisper behind his ear, "You were going to rape her, weren't you?"
     "You bitches don't understand anything," he snaps, obviously trying to control himself.
     Lynne walks over to him and runs a fingernail down his collarbone before saying, "That's why I asked you the question." She leans over him, bent in half with her legs straight to get right in his face. Her hand strokes his face as she asks, "What were you going to do to our sweet Erin?"
     "I wasn't going to rape her!" he growls.
     "That's not what Julian saw," I state.
     "I did nothing wrong," he reiterates. "I don't know why she started yelling the way she did."
     "Oh, you don't?" Lynne asks. "Give me some guesses then."
     "You stupid witch, 'I don't know' means I don't know!" he snarls, and Lynne grabs him between his legs and twists. He screams.
      She hisses at him, "You mean to tell me that you didn't know why she started yelling for help, this woman that you were engaged to?" She glares at him. "And you call me stupid?!"
     A few tears escape his eyes, and he says in a pained voice, "I wasn't going to rape her. She was overreacting."
     "Then answer the fucking question. If you weren't going to rape her, then what were you going to do?" Lynne asks in an icy voice.
    "Fine! Talk! I just wanted her to talk to me!" he yells.
     Lynne sniffs the air and says, "Lie." Another jolt shoots out of her finger into his kneecap, almost casually. "She didn't want to talk to you, did she? Whatever you were doing, it scared her enough to make her start yelling. It was at that point that you should have stopped, but you didn't, did you? No, you were trying to pull her into her house. Now, answer me truthfully, you were going to rape her once inside the house, weren't you?"
     "No," he stubbornly maintains his story while Lynne paces the room.
     She slowly walks back over to Sean and stands in front of him to ask, "Well, if all you were going to do is 'talk,' then what were you going to 'talk' about?"
      Sean takes a deep breath and says, "None of your goddamn business."
      She shoots yet another bolt from her fingertip, this time right at his dick. His eyes nearly pop out of his head, but he sets his jaw and doesn't make a sound. I try to refrain from telling Lynne that I think she's overdoing it. She looks pissed.
     "Well, you see, Sean. That's where you're wrong. I'm making it my business," Lynne says as she calmly sits in his lap like a kid would Santa Claus. "You don't try to hurt my friends and think you can get away with it. Now, are you going to admit to the truth or am I going to have to make it to where you can never have children? I think I'd be doing the next generation a favor as well as any other woman you mistakenly think wants it when she doesn't."
      He shrugs with mock nonchalance and says, "Fine. I wanted her to come back to me. I didn't know about the rebound guy."

       Lynne glares at him and slowly walks around him. "You're not telling me everything, and you need to admit this to yourself as well. I really didn't want to have to crawl into your head, Sean, but it appears that I'm going to have to." She places a hand on either side of his head and closes her eyes. Sean appears to make an attempt to struggle.
    "That's not true!" he yells suddenly, but Lynne keeps her hands on his head, a look of determination on her face. His eyes find me, and he asks, "What is she doing? I don't want to see this shit!"
      "She's making you see the truth, and I'm guessing it's pretty ugly," I answer sadly. I really don't need to feel sympathetic.
      His eyes look pleadingly at me as he yells, "No! It wasn't going to come to that! She loves me! She would come around!"
    I take a deep breath. "Only it didn't look like she would come around, did it, Sean?" I ask, and I feel a little uncomfortable. "You were going to rape her if she didn't, weren't you?"
      "I wouldn't have to," he whispers. Lynne zaps him right into his head, and he twitches. Finally, tears start coursing down his face as he whispers out a quiet, "Yes."
      "I told you you can't lie to me you sick piece of shit!" Lynne spits out as she circles around him like a tiger stalking its prey.

    Then she unleashes her full fury on him, and I have to take a step back to avoid the electrical storm. I'm terrified. I hate it when she gets like this, justified or not. I don't want to know what it was she really saw inside his head.
    Sean starts screaming, and the rest of the lights in the house dim as if she's drawing power from the house's electricity. I cover my eyes like a child would.
       When he finally is quiet again, I look to see that she's burned a word onto his chest: Rapist. Sean is passed out and slumped over in the chair. I can see he's breathing at least.
       She slowly walks up to him and speaks quietly into his ear, "Can you hear me, Sean?" He grunts. "Good. Listen closely then. You're not going to remember any of this except for what I tell you right now, understand?" He mumbles out a yes. "Good. Now, I've placed a 'sign' on your chest that I'm wiping away now." She waves her hand over his chest, and the marking disappears. "However, it will appear to any woman that you ever hope to sleep with so that they know exactly what they're dealing with. Understand?"
      "Yes," he sobs.
     "Good. You decide you don't want Erin anymore, and you're better off without her. You have an overwhelming desire to return to your sad, little life and leave the island," she states, and Sean passes out after mumbling another yes.
      I numbly reach for his shirt, happy that she didn't drag that out any longer, and find a hotel key in the pocket. "Room 224," I tell Lynne before she makes him stand, zombie-like, and removes his cuffs. Then she has him put his shirt back on before she leads him out of the house to her car and, I presume, his hotel. After I see a very satisfied expression on Lynne's face, I walk over to her couch and collapse against it, falling asleep immediately.
      You won't remember the specifics of tonight either, Lindy, I hear like it's whispered right into my ear.

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I hope this wasn't too weird for the storyline. I don't want to stray too far into the supernatural world, but just graze it.

Lynne thought that that was a bit too far for Belinda, however, and she gave her that gift of forgetting. When Lynne had looked into Sean's mind, she saw what he'd intended to do since Erin wasn't 'cooperating' with him, and she was furious her guess was correct. Sean wouldn't admit it to himself because he thought he'd have been able to convince Erin and not have to resort to that, but he was also very determined to get what he wanted even if it meant that he'd have to force her to see that she loved him.

I don't want to possibly destroy Lynne's character in y'all'z eyes. This is not her normal behavior, but it is her "Mr. Hyde" like Belinda thinks. She meant it when she'd threatened Erin about making her life a living hell that Saturday morning before Erin found Bryce on the beach. Most of the time she's a very sweet, selfless, easy-going person. I need to write a chapter showing that more-dominant side of her real soon I guess.

Oh, and I loved putting in the connection to Cutest Lil' Jazz Singer. I used Gloria as a base when I made Belinda. :D