Bonus: A Dream

A/N: I really feel that to better understand the next chapter, I needed to put this in.
Warning! contains spoiler for my Queen of Denial story as it's edited from chapter 118.
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Marie

     I breathe a sigh of relief when my head hits the pillow. Jesse and I are back together. Everything will be fine.

     What about meeting with Andy tomorrow?

     I close my eyes. Jesse will be with me, reminding me what it is that I want.

     I'm standing outside in Mom's backyard when I hear a familiar voice behind me. "Hey, Marie!" It's Andy.
     We chat for a minute, and I laugh happily. He tries to return the laugh, but it sounds forced. Something's bothering him.

     "What's up?" I ask, wondering if he's going to bullshit me or really tell me what's bothering him. Something nags at me in the back of my mind, something about having a discussion with Andy.

     He stands there and acts like he's undecided how he should answer me. I raise my eyebrows as he rocks his weight from one foot to the other. I remember I was planning on getting on my bicycle and going for a quick ride before my little brother Ben got home, but I don't have to do that if Andy needs to talk to me about something -- as long as it's not dating. I don't think it is since we've come to an understanding: I'm dating his brother; he broke my heart. Still, he has a pained look on his face.
     "Um, Andy?" I ask, prodding him along.
     He runs his hand down his face and looks at the ground. Then he winces. "Nevermind. I shouldn't have come over here," he replies cryptically and walks back through the gate, pissing me off instantly.
     I turn my head and loudly say, "Well, that was rude! You came over here to tell me something, so spill! You can't leave me hanging like this." I start to stomp after him, but he stops and turns back around to walk back through the gate.
     "Actually, I don't know if you want to hear it," he says.
     "You brought it up."
     "I shouldn't have."
     "But you did."

     "Yes, I realize that, but I don't want to tell you anymore. It's not any of my business, and I shouldn't have thought I had a right coming over here and telling you anything about it," he says.
     "Andy, I'm about to punch you if you don't tell me because now I'm infinitely curious." I'm moderately teasing about the punch.
     "Calm down, geez, Marie! I'm trying to figure out how to tell you, all right?"
     I let out a mock huff and fold my arms with my eyebrows raised as high as they can go.
     "I take it you know Cristina's in town," he says finally.
     Uh oh. "Does this have something to do with her?" I say 'her' with my hatred visibly showing.
      "Marie, calm down."
     "Calm down? I am calm. Why do you keep asking me to calm down? Are you saying I should be upset? Why are you acting like I'm going to be upset?"
     He sighs and places his forehead on his fingertips. "Mom fixed a big dinner the other night, and he brought her."
     "Why didn't I hear about your mom fixing a family get-together?" I ask quickly. Then, it suddenly occurs to me why. He didn't want to invite me. He wants to be with Cristina without me around. "Oh my god, it's starting." I get out my cell phone and call him. I haven't heard from him in days. The last time I spoke to him, it was because he was apologizing for how he acted earlier that day. We'd started making out, and he wanted more. I asked him to stop, and he tried to pretend he wasn't upset when I knew he was. He apologized for lying to me and pretending he was okay with what happened, and he also said he was sorry for pushing me. He wanted me to know that he understood that I wasn't ready and that he'd wait until I was.

     He doesn't answer his phone. Him not answering doesn't immediately make me suspicious. He frequently forgets his phone when he goes out. Still, ...
     "I saw him leave his house from my bedroom window with her in tow. At dinner, they'd mentioned heading out to the island to do some excavating."
     "Let's go then. You're coming with me to keep me from killing them both," I say resolutely, jumping to conclusions. I start for the gate. Please let me be wrong.
     He grabs my arm to stop me. "Marie, wait."
     "Oh, uh uh," I snap back at him, shaking my head no. "I'm spying on them to see what this is all about." Why else would he not want me to come along? Okay...maybe they're friends. But...when they were dating, he would tell her what he and I were doing. He wouldn't keep it from her.
     I fist my hands to keep them from shaking. My boyfriend might be cheating on me, just like Armand said would happen, just like I suspected Dawson would when I saw his expression the other night. We were eating dinner at the bistro, and she showed up. His face lit up like he was looking at an angel. Later, he tried to tell me it was just that he was happy to see her, but he wasn't wanting to date her again. "After everything I did to be with you?" he'd told me.
     Something inside me dies. I'd believed him.
     Andy sighs resolutely and follows me down the river to an awaiting rowboat.
     When we land on the island, I'm glad it's not in view of the two of them since, other than the ruins, the island is pretty open. I can hear their voices inside the ruins.
     "And Dawson," Cristina says, "do you remember when we..." Her voice gets too quiet for me to hear. The two of them laugh. I creep closer to hear better.
     As I make my way around the ruins, trying to find their exact location, Andy holds me back a second to whisper, "Marie, I'm sorry. This is a bad idea. I'd only wanted to give you a heads up. I didn't mean for you to go pick a fight."
      I whisper back, "I'm not picking a fight; I'm spying." I decide to give him a wicked grin back, but inside I'm collapsing.
      "Aw, c'mon, Dawson. Don't you remember how it was between us? We can have that again," Cristina says, and I want to claw her innocent, big, blue eyes out.
      "That's the thing though, Cristina. Like I told you -- We broke up on good terms and yes, I still have some feelings for you, but I'm with Marie, and I love her," I hear Dawson say and my heart soars with the memory of this moment.
     Wait...A memory? Something is off about this.

      Dawson told her he loved me. He loved me. Even when getting tempted by Cristina, he still tried to stick by me. I roll over, and my dream continues like it never stopped.

     They're in the courtyard of the old ruins, I figure out. I creep around to peer around the wall, silent as a mouse. Andy quietly follows behind me.

     I find it nearly impossible to keep quiet with the scene that awaits me once I peep around the edge. Cristina has stopped excavating and worked her way between his legs. He looks like he's trying to back away from her, but she keeps following him. Pretty soon he's going to run out of grass. Why isn't he just shoving her away from him?
     Her voice is quiet, but I can hear it as she says, "You love me too, don't you? More than her, am I right?"
     "Cristina..." Dawson says in warning.
     "I came back here on my own for you, Dawson. I want you back, and I've decided not to beat around the bush anymore about it."
     That's for damn sure, I think as I can't find my voice, and my heart plunges into my stomach. I wait and see what he's going to do. Andy reaches out and grabs my arm to pull me back. I twist his to get free. I want to see! I want to see what he does!
     "I can't," Dawson whines.
     "She's not satisfying you, is she? Poor baby," she croons.
     Dawson stops backing up, and I watch her hand move between them.  
     I think I'm going to be sick.
     He groans.

     Then he lies back and takes her with him, kissing her passionately. I can feel the victory coming off her in waves even from where I stand. Taking a bullet wound to the chest, I'm sure, would hurt less than this. I can't stand it anymore, and I turn around to hide my crying in my hands. I hear the two of them roll over as Andy pulls on my arm again.

     I'm momentarily awakened by my own crying, but I can't get myself to stay awake. The cruel reminder of one of my worst days continues to sadistically play itself out.

     Andy whispers to me, "Let's get out of here. You don't need to see this."
     But isn't this why you brought me here? So I could see what a dick your brother is? You're not much better, by the way. You brought me out here on purpose. I dry my eyes as I hear Dawson groan and Cristina giggle.
      "Marie?" Andy asks quietly.
     My voice is regular volume as I respond. "No, I'm going to take care of this first."
     I hear a set of gasps from inside the courtyard.

     Dawson jumps up like he has springs in his knees and bounds over to us. While standing in front of me, he looks over at his brother to say sarcastically, "Nice." Cristina stands up as I watch how she reacts to the scene in front of her. So far, she does nothing but watch as Dawson continues, "Satisfied, brother? You'll do anything to break us up, won't you?"
     Andy answers him evenly, "I wasn't the one between my ex-girlfriend's legs."
     I pipe up finally, "Good point, Andy. What the fuck is going on, Dawson!?" I yell. "So all that you said the other day was a lie?" That's all it took? The promise of sex?
     Cristina's skinny midriff showing is really getting on my nerves. I grew up having to fight with my weight, and she's always been thinner than me.

     "No, it wasn't, honest!" Dawson says as a lame apology, his anger at his brother momentarily forgotten. "Oh god, Marie. I'm sorry! Of all moments for you to catch! I lost my head."
     I refuse to fall for it, and I say, "Looks like you were getting head, not losing it."
     Andy covers his mouth to hide his laugh, but Cristina actually giggles. I see red. 

     I push Dawson out of the way and walk into the tiny courtyard to confront the bitch. "I don't know what you find so damn funny, slut!"
    My ears get hot as she responds, "You. You really think you're something special, don't you? You have this false idea that you're some belle of the ball with these poor brothers when really you're not worth shit. You're nothing but a cocktease and -"

      Without even thinking, I reach up and grab a fistful of her hair. That braid actually makes it very convenient to hold onto her as I pull her down and snarl, "I'd rather be a cocktease than a ho like you!"
     "Ow!" she screams like an idiot.
     Speaking of idiot, Dawson just stands there in wooden, mute shock, not doing a thing. After a few seconds of me trying to pull Cristina's hair out by the roots, Andy reaches in and tries to pull me away from her. I'm ready to finish the job I started at prom. Apparently, I didn't beat enough sense into her then.
     "Marie, let her go!" Andy yells after I start jerking her back and forth, wondering if her eyes will still look sweet and innocent once they're both black. "C'mon, Marie. She's not worth the trouble!" Andy again tries to calm me down. It's not working. However, he is stronger than me, and he succeeds in pulling me back. At first, I take the bitch with me, but she surprises me by breaking my hold. I'm happy to note that I did take a ton of hair with me. I look up to see a small bald spot and grin. Andy lets me go, and it's my turn to laugh maniacally at the hair in my hand.

     She lets out a high-pitched shriek, "You BITCH!" Then she slaps me across the face.
     Oh no, I did not just get pulled off her to be slapped around...

      We kick up dust as I jump her. She messed with the wrong 'cocktease' today.
      Dawson finally wakes up from his dazed stupor and starts yelling at us to stop. Andy acts like he wishes he could find an opening to break up the fight. At one point, he tries, and I kick him away, finally having enough brainwaves to remember my simfu training. I could kill her. I could.
     The Creek brothers rush in at the same time. I take that moment to take a swing at Dawson, catching him cleanly in the jaw. Ow! I think I may have broken a finger. That IS one hard head. I would've done more except Andy wraps his arms around me, and by the time I break his hold, Dawson has pulled Cristina back.
     "Eat shit, Dawson," I say and march out of the ruins.
     I'm done. I'm done with all of them. Dawson, Andy, even Armand. They can all rot in hell.
    "Marie, wait!" I hear Andy call behind me as I walk around the outside of the ruins. I can hear Cristina crying loudly and pathetically, probably in Dawson's arms.
     I turn around to glare at Andy and ask, "Why did you do this? Why bring me here? Are you happy now?!!"
     He breathes heavily as he stands with his hands on his hips, looking at me. "No, of course I'm not happy, but I knew something was up. I hadn't expected that though. I just wanted to alert you to what was going on... what I saw at dinner."
     I walk up to him and look him in the eye as I chew him out, "Well, lucky you that you were proven right so effectively! How nice that you can prove your brother is a dick! They can have each other!" I know they can hear me as I yell.
     "I didn't want to be proven right like that! You're acting like I had some ulterior motive! This is why I didn't want to tell you after I'd entered your backyard." Mom's backyard, I mentally correct him.
      "Don't stand there and try to tell me you're not just a little happy with this! Aren't you? I mean, I just broke up with your brother. That's what you wanted, isn't it? Isn't it?!" I yell and start hitting his chest.
      "I didn't want this!" he yells back at me and starts trying to block me hitting him.
     He's lucky I'm not putting everything I have into it. He's lucky I'm emotionally distraught. Dad would be disappointed that I couldn't keep my cool and just get the job done without breaking down.
      "Stop it, Marie!" he yells and gets hold of my wrists before he winces from pain as I twist out of them, twisting his arms until he lets go. "Quit it," he growls and holds my shoulders to look me in the eye.

       I don't know what happens, but the fight leaves me. I stop attacking him and collapse into my hands. I let him hold me and attempt to comfort me as I sob. I just lost my best friend.


      I wake up crying again, my pillow soaked from my tears. After Andy had comforted me for a while, I pushed him away and went back to Mom's house by myself. He tried to follow me, but I got there before him and closed and locked the doors, keeping him out. He tried to talk to me through the windows in the door, and I told him to go away. It took Dad standing there in his most intimidating pose to finally get Andy to leave.
     In the next few days, Andy visited several times, trying to get me to talk to him. I eventually did, but nothing was really resolved. Armand visited once, and it was eerie how short his visit was once he found out I was leaving. He walked away with a calculating look on his face. Dawson never visited, never tried to contact me at all. I haven't spoken to him since that awful day.
      And I have to see Andy tomorrow...um...today. My eyes widen as I stare my ceiling. It gets brighter. The sun has started coming up.