67C: Fantastically Terrible

Jesse

     It has been way.... way too long. I must slow down.

     Marie's lusciously-naked body stirs underneath me, and I want her so desperately that I can hardly think straight.

     Control yourself, damn it! This is Marie! She's a fucking virgin, and there you go charging at her like some damn bull.

      Okay... so I'll stop charging, I think as I slowly run my tongue across her shoulder to her neck and up her neck to her jaw to across her jaw and into her sweet mouth. She lets out a little noise of warning, but I hopefully get across to her that I'm not as bat-shit crazy as I was a few minutes ago as I kiss her very gently.

    I'm not going to apologize.

   She starts shaking.

   "I'm sorry," I say before I can stop myself, "... again."

   "Just... calm down," she says quietly.

    Calm down? Not stop? Not stop?!

    "Do you need me to stop?" I ask and want to punch myself in the face. She stays silent for too long, so I look down at her. I see her biting her lip in indecision. "Marie?"

     "I don't know," she says with a trace of panic in her voice, and that panic shoots straight into my heart.

      "Okay," I say and decide to do nothing but wrap my arms around her and rest my head on her chest. Her heart hammers along at a fast pace, and I close my eyes to try to further calm myself down. I hate that I scared her. Twice in one day. I need to calm down.

       I purposefully do nothing but hold her and breathe. I'd love to run my hand down between her legs... but no. No, I'm being good.

      I work on relaxing, and an unknown amount of time goes by before she starts lazily running her fingers through my hair. I feel tempted to start making a purring noise, but I think that would be too weird for her.

     She likes my hair. I like her running her fingers through it. That calms me better than anything else. I feel so relaxed in no time.

     "Jesse," I hear Marie's voice beside me. I make a little groan, and she repeats my name. When I open my eyes, I see it's dark outside.

      Holy shit, I fell asleep! I think with my eyes wide.

      "It's night?" I ask stupidly.

      "It's dark outside, certainly," she answers, and I look at her for the first time since I woke up. She's still naked.

      Parts of my anatomy ache as I run my hand up over her hip to her waist and around to her butt before I pull her to me. She lets out a tiny gasp before I claim her mouth.

      Please let me. I don't care if I have to go the slowest I've ever gone. I don't care if it takes forever. I just want you, I hopefully convey to her through my kiss. There're ways to make this easier. Suddenly, an idea that I had last night comes back to me.

      "Well," I tell her, "since it's nighttime and hopefully not too hot outside, let's go skinny dipping in the hot tub." Shit, please say okay.

      "All right," she says, and I mentally do a small fistpump.

       This is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to endure, but I still want it. It's going to work.

     I get up after I take my trunks off and reach to help her out of bed. She won't look directly at my dick, I notice, but I can't say I'm surprised. She growls at me when I pick her up, and I laugh a little.

     "Get over it," I playfully chastise.

     I let her get in the hot tub on her own, and just the act of watching her crouch down to get in makes me want to fall on my knees crying and begging her.

      Shit, Jesse. Pull yourself together!

     I feel a tiny bit better with the warm water swirling around me, and I lay my head back and close my eyes.

      "Don't go to sleep on me again," I hear Marie say in a teasing way.

      "I'm not on you this time," I answer with a small smile. No, I want you on me. I take another deep breath, listening to the water swirl around, and I get surprised by Marie kissing me.

      After about two whole seconds of shock, my arms spring themselves around her like a bear trap. She's kissing me. I exhale before kissing her back like I haven't seen her in weeks. One of my hands tangles itself into her hair while the other holds her ass to press her up against me as much as I can.

      As I dip down to explore her neck again, she says, "I dreamed about this once."

      I feel every cell in my body sit up and take notice. "Really?" I ask as calmly as I can manage.

      "The morning before what I thought was supposed to be your first sim fu lesson," she tells me.

      "Mmm, all the more reason for me to regret thinking you cancelled," I say, smiling. I'm not letting go of her for the world.

      "What I mean is," she starts up again, "that I even liked you then."

       Nope, not gonna let go. "I hoped you did. So, what did we do in the dream?" I ask, curious.

       "Pretty much this," she says breathlessly.

       "Oh? That's all?" I'm guessing there's more she's not telling me. "Pretty much, huh."

       "Um, well," I knew it "there was," she moves her hips blessedly closer with one knee on either side, answering a question in my mind earlier as to whether or not her knee could take that. I notice she favors the other one though. She slides herself right up to my dick, and I swallow a groan as I tighten my hold of her. "This too." Her breathing gets rapid and shallow.

      "Just like this?" I ask, curious about her dream and how far 'dream me' got.

      "I know it's odd, but yes," she answers me sheepishly.

      I immediately have to stop what I feel will quickly become a downward spiral into her insecurities, so I say, "This isn't odd." I ever so slightly tighten my grip before I decide to push her a little. "I know how we could make it better though." I knew it. The tiniest pull away. "If you feel like you can do it," I add, mentally patting myself on the back for issuing a challenge. I feel her move to look down at me as I lazily kiss her breasts.

      "Do what?" Yes!

      "You do it, Marie. At your own speed. I'll help, but you're in charge." To emphasize my point, I position her right on top of my tip. Insanity knocks at the door, but I do my best to keep from answering. "Press yourself down on me." Oh shit, I'm going to go crazy! So fucking close!

     She doesn't try to move away, but she doesn't move period as she asks, "But it will still hurt, won't it?"

     A pathetic whimper slips out of me, but I decide that maybe she needs to hear it. "I wish I could say no, but yes, it will. It will no matter when because you're so tiny and I'm... not. Please, Marie, this is the best way, I think." I tighten my grip of her hips as insanity gets me for a second or two before I regain control. I realize I'd tilted my hips up into her and held her still, pushing myself the tiniest bit into her. Use it. "Like that." I have to close my eyes and tilt my head back. If I look at her, I'll lose control. Shit, Marie. Impale yourself on me now! I start shaking.

     "What about a condom?" she asks, and I want to scream.

     Instead of screaming, I very calmly say, "I don't want to use one. I want to feel you."

     "I'm not on birth control of any kind."

     "We'll get a morning-after pill."

     "Jesse... you... um ..."

     "What?!" I snap before I take a deep breath and repeat my question in a calmer way. I risk looking up at her face. I don't dare look lower.

     "Have you always used condoms or have you... um..."

     "I can't answer that one hundred percent, but Bryce and I would make it a rule to watch out for each other. Even shitfaced drunk I would use one apparently, but I don't know for certain when I was on my own." I finally get what she's asking when I say, "I get tested all the time and it's all negative. Please, Marie." Stupid me looks down at where her hips float over me, and, shaking, I push her onto me the tiniest bit more.

     "Jesse!" she gasps, and I release her hips so that I'm not tempted as much. I throw my hands out to hold the sides of the hot tub as she says, "You're shaking."

     "Self-control... is not... one of my strong suits. ...Not with you. Please, Marie. It won't hurt forever. I can promise you that." I take a breath and let it out. "Go as slow as you want, just please," I beg with my head thrown back again.

      She pushes herself down and quickly gasps. Such... perfect... torture! I think as I fist my hands where they're thrown off to the sides. "Oh," she whispers in pain, and it breaks my heart. She says my name in a small cry.

      I forget my own torture as much as I can as I open my eyes and look at her with concern. 

      "I can't do this," she whispers.

      My arms move around her, and I sit up a little as I say quickly, "Yes, you can. You are. You're doing so good."

      She starts shaking her head back and forth and mumbling in French. I catch her saying she can't.

      "Yes, you can," I say real quick and pull her head down to me to kiss her. At first, she pushes against my shoulders, but soon her hands move up to hold my face as she kisses me back. As we move a little, she moves a tiny bit further down my shaft, squeezing me in a fantastic vise. I'm there, and I hate myself for what I'm about to do.

      "Breathe out," I quietly order. I watch her, and as soon as she does, I pull her down with a little force just enough to break her maidenhead. 

      She cries out from the surprise pain, and I hug her to me.

      "Please. Be still," she whispers loudly as her breathing hisses back and forth. 

      I freeze as still as I possibly can while sitting in the hot tub. A whole minute goes by, and she's still acting like she's in pain.

      "Marie?" I ask in a worried voice.

      "Why did you do that?" she cries.

      Shit. "To get it over with. That's the worst part."

      "Why didn't you let me do it on my own like you said?"

      Oh no. "I don't know other than I worried you wouldn't. I'm sorry. I didn't want you to have gotten that far, right there, only to stop and pull away." Since my arms are still around her, I hold her a little tighter. "Also, I thought that maybe if it was a surprise that you wouldn't tense up and make it worse."

      "How many virgins have you had?" she asks blankly.

      I look up at her and scowl, not sure why she would ask that, but I answer her anyway, "You're my fourth." And you're not a virgin anymore. I kiss her neck and worry that she's trying to trap me into saying something stupid that will make her mad. Then I swallow a groan as insanity lets me know it's still around when she tightens around me even tighter for a second before relaxing again. She does it again, and I have to stop kissing her to pant a little and keep myself from losing control.

     She does it again.

     "Marie!" I gasp. "Please try to keep from doing that."

     "I'm just testing what you mean by tensing up."

     I want to cry. You had to figure that out?! "Does this mean you're better?"

     "No, Jesse. This hurts like hell."

     "I want to help. What do you think would help?" I ask desperately as I try to remain sane.

     "I can't take any more," she says sadly.

     No!!!!!! "No, Marie, please," I beg and hold onto her tightly. Doing this pushes her further down, and she cries out again. I pull her up quite a bit all things considering but not all the way. She whimpers like she's grateful I did that. She pushes against me like she wants to pull all the way off me, but I hold her tightly.

     "Jesse..." she says in a questioning and accusing way.

     "Like this, Marie," I encourage her before I lightly push myself into her the tiniest amount before pulling back again only to push in again a little more.

     "It hurts," she cries, and I want to scream in frustration. One of my biggest fears about this is happening, and I can't stop it! I know if we could only keep going that eventually she'd stop hurting, and I want to get to that point.

      A strange noise slips out of me before I say, "Please, baby. It won't hurt forever." I feel like a living cliche.

     I put her feet out behind me as I slip off the bench while holding her hips and back and supporting her body on my thigh as I kneel under her. Once I move us, I let her rest on me for a little while.

     "I wish I wasn't hurting you," I whisper lovingly into her ear. "I want you to that point that it doesn't hurt anymore."
      She whimpers, and I run my hands up and down her back. The only thing keeping me from going crazy is the thought of her in pain. I feel so good right now, but I feel guilty enjoying it.

      "I can't do it," she says sadly.

      "Then let me," I reply. I don't think she expected that answer. I cup her face in my hand and stare down at her while I think, There's no real easy way to do this. Not with us. "Slowly," I try to reassure her.

     I brace my back foot against the corner of the tub as I hold her to me and rock my hips into her. She makes a small noise like she's in pain while I groan and shake from the effort I exert to hold back. I slowly pull back and push back into her, this time going a little further.

     "Jesse..." she says worriedly, clinging to me around my shoulders.

     "I'm sorry, Marie, my love. Let me do this. It won't last forever. Okay?" I pause and look at her pleadingly. She gets a look of hopelessness on her face that kills me inside before she nods her head slowly.

     I kiss her gently for a little while, but I know every second I take doing it only makes the bad part last longer. I'd thrust in real fast if I thought I could do that, but I'm afraid I could actually tear her.

    So. Fucking. Tight! I think with a groan as I feel driven by nature to do what I do. Her nails dig into the flesh on the back of my shoulders, and I let her do it. 

    I tightly hold onto her as I slowly and repeatedly rock my body into hers. I can't stop myself from moaning in agonizing pleasure as I drive myself further into her.

    So good.

    Stay in control, Jesse.

    So damn good. So tight.

    I push harder than I have before, and Marie cries out. But I don't stop for her to recover. Instead, I attack the sweet skin of her neck and keep doing it. The further I go, the tighter she gets. She feels terribly fantastic.

    "Oh, Marie," I moan.

    "Jesse, please," she whispers.

    "Almost, baby," I say to her whimpering. It's true. I'm almost fully inside her. I moan again as I feel her all around me, and I want her all the way.
     Shit, no condom; it's so fucking real!
     Daddy's home.
    Finally, I'm 'buried to the hilt,' and I stop to let her recover. She whines as I move us so that I'm sitting on the edge of the bench with her perfect legs bent around me.
    I love this woman!
    I hate that I had to hurt her, but that part is over with. I'm so glad. We did it, and soon I can finally show her how great sex is.
    I happily sit up and start kissing her. She's reticent, and I guess she's still uncomfortable. I back off a little, but I don't stop. My hand cups the back of her head as I kiss her all over her precious face.
    My mouth covers hers when I can't stand it anymore. I think a full five minutes has gone by, and still Marie sits perfectly still and quiet. I want her to know how much I love her.
    Maybe she's been waiting for me, I think and start moving a little.
    She groans and holds on tightly to my shoulders.
    Fuck yes! I scream inside my head. "Oh, Marie." I moan again and slowly increase my tempo. She has her head turned away from me, and I turn it towards me so I can kiss her passionately.
    Something goes wrong.
    Marie resists me kissing her and starts pushing me away. I stop in confusion.
    Before I can ask, she says, "No, Jesse. Stop. Stop now!"
    "What's wrong?" I finally get to ask.
    "It hurts," she cries and continues to push at me with all her strength.
    I feel horrified as I ask, "Why didn't you tell me?"
    "I'm telling you now. Now, let me go!" she demands, and I do.
    I watch helplessly as she pulls off me, crying out as she does.
    "Marie..." I say as I reach for her.

    "No," she snaps and stumbles out of the hot tub before limping into the house.
    Ice cold dread fills me, contradicting the warm night and hot tub.



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Poor Jesse. I hate to leave him there for now. The next time we see Jesse and Marie we'll pick right back up right here, so don't worry. Hint ... don't worry. I just don't want to get too far ahead with them before we find out why Erin is crying...