30: Freaked Out

Bryce

     I wake up to the tapping sound of fingers hitting a keyboard. My hand drifts over to the other side of the bed only to find it empty. Peeking my eyes open, I see she's sitting at the computer desk, writing.

     "Erin..." I groan. "Come back to bed." Dammit I love having her here.

     "I couldn't sleep," she answers without taking her eyes off the screen. My eyes open a little more to see that she's gotten herself completely dressed in the stuff we rushed over to get at her house last night. "I'm sorry. I have to type this up."

      I groan again and go face-first into the pillow. I really, really want her to come back to bed... dressed or not. It wouldn't take me long to get her undressed. 

      I peek over at her and see that she hasn't even glanced my way. That damn computer has her complete attention. Her side of the bed is cold, and I picture in my mind her lying here next to me and how I'd pull her, naked, up close. Then her side of the bed wouldn't be cold.

      "How long have you been up?" I ask.

      "About an hour it looks like," she answers quickly.

      "Get more inspiration for your book huh?" I ask, smiling now.

      She bites her lip as she answers, "Kinda."

       "Please come back to bed," I say quietly.

       "But I'm up and dressed and fixed my hair and everything. I don't wanna come back to bed only to have you fall asleep on me."

      "I have absolutely no intention of falling asleep on you. In fact I..." I pause as something occurs to me that makes me wake up real fast. "Oh shit!"

       She finally looks over to me with a look of concern.

       "Erin!" I say and sit up straight in bed, my panic changing my mood completely.

       "What?!"

       I can feel my eyes are wide as I say, "Please tell me you're on birth control."

       One of her eyebrows raises as she says, "Fine time to ask now."

       "I'm about three seconds from jumping out of this bed and -"

       "Chill. I am," she says. I don't even bother to try to determine her mood; I'm so relieved as I flop back down on the mattress. There I was thinking we were going to have to rush over to the pharmacy to get a morning-after pill before they closed. 

      I feel like I'm recovering from an adrenaline rush. I guess I am.

      "Why?" I hear her ask. She's facing the computer monitor again, but she's not typing. "You don't want me to have your baby?"

       It takes me a little bit to figure out that she's only teasing. Still, I say, "Don't be ridiculous."

       "You do?!" she asks, now a little more serious and looking over at me again.

       I feel like I've been backed into a corner. "Um..." She sits there and stares at me.

       "Don't worry about it, Bryce," she says eventually, and she goes back to typing.

       Huh? Hold up! Don't you dare go and get all pissed off at me. I hop up and out from under the covers.

     "Hold on. Don't go 'Leandra' on me," I say. I meant it as a way to get her attention, but I think I may have hit the nail on the head.

      "And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?!" she snaps as I reach down and grab her hands up off the keyboard while leaning down behind the chair she sits in.

      "You once asked me to tell you if I want you to get off the computer. Well, I'm asking you to now, please." I glance at the screen and from what I can gather from all the exclamation points, my guess is correct. Lance and Leandra are fighting. I look outside. "Did you sleep at all?"

       "For about an hour and a half," she answers as she tries to get her hands free from mine.

       I sigh. "Stop," I say in response to her hands fighting mine. "You're just tired."

       "Bryce! Give me back my hands!"

       "Only if you stop typing and get away from the computer," I say sternly.

        She growls at me, but she also does as I ask.

    I drop her hands and wrap my arms around her. At first, she's stiff like she's still mad, but it doesn't last long. I hold her tighter as she wilts into me.

     "I'm sorry," she says quietly into my shoulder.

     "It's okay," I whisper.

     "It's just.. I had so much on my mind, and my mind wouldn't shut up about it. And then I started thinking about my book and all the stuff I wanted to write up that doesn't fit exactly right where it is and I'll have to move it later, but yeah. I just couldn't sleep," she quickly mumbles out.

      So much on her mind and her mind wouldn't shut up about it. Hm.

      Because of what you told me? Because you said you love me?

      She's freaked out, I think and feel her hands on my lower back.

      I start rocking us slowly back and forth before I turn my head a little to whisper into her ear, "I think you're sleepy now."

      "No I'm not," she mumbles sleepily into my shoulder.

      "Mhm. Yes you are. Come back to bed, Erin. We don't have anywhere we have to be today until this evening when I have to work."

       "What about Pam coming over? Doesn't she visit on Saturday?"

       "Well, she invited us over to her house, but I thought you might want to just stay here."

       "No, we can go. It's Saturday. You should spend it with Adele."

        "Okay, but later. Right now though, come back to bed."

        "I'm not sleepy," she obstinately mumbles.

       "Want me to make you sleepy?" I ask with a grin before she lightly slaps me. I succeed in pulling her back to the bed. We lie down, and she's asleep within minutes. Her words earlier to me before the last time she fell asleep run rampantly through my mind. More than Sean huh? More than someone you were going to marry.
        And she's freaked out. She may try to disagree with me if I point that out to her, but she is. I guess I'd be more worried if she weren't freaked out. After what she's gone through, I can't believe she'd admit that to me. Huh. She's freaked because she admitted that to me. That just has to be it. I'd better be really good, or I could ruin everything quicker than blinking an eye. I know from personal experience the risk she took in telling me that. She's probably worried that she'll lose me too, even if the thought is irrational.
       I hold her tighter, and she stirs a little before she goes back to resting her head on my shoulder. Fat chance, Erin. I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you if I have anything to say about it.


        A few hours later, she wakes me up and insists that we go to my sister's. I'm hungry and don't feel like cooking, so I agree.
        She acts determined to not interrupt Adele's life too much. I think about this as I watch her get out of my car at Pam's. The sun flashes on her hair as she moves around the car, taking my hand and giving me a quizzical expression. I wait for her to ask me what I'm thinking, but she doesn't.
        "Everything okay?" she asks finally.
        If Jesse were here, he'd tease me about goo-goo eyes. I probably look a bit ridiculous. "Yeah," I answer simply as I try to put a lid on the mushy stuff going through my head like how she's an angel sent from heaven to put my life back together... my daughter's too by making me a better dad. 

      If we ever broke up, it would kill me, I think as I suddenly pull her into a tight hug.
      She tries to guess where this is coming from and asks, "I guess you finally believe what I said last night, um, this morning?"
       I notice that she didn't say 'it' again but only referred to it. That's okay, I guess. She's waiting for me to answer the question. "I'm starting to."
        Pull yourself together, Bryce, before Simon sees you acting like this. He'd tease you about it. I clear my throat, and we head up the steps to Pam's front porch.

Pamela Drake

     I answer the knock on my door and get surprised by my brother's appearance. I won't have leftovers after all. I smile in reaction to the obvious, yet trying to be hidden, happiness on both their faces.
      "Come in!" I say warmly, close the door, and hug each of them in turn. Erin still acts shy around me. Then I yell out to my husband at the grill, "Bryce and Erin are here, so cook everything!"

     "Daddy!" I hear coming from the hallway just before Adele bounds out of it and into Bryce's embrace.
       Not really understanding what all the excitement is about but wanting to be excited anyway, Jer-jer toddles down the hallway as well and then stands there with a confused look on his face and his finger in his mouth. Adele starts filling my brother in on all the stuff they'd done this morning.

        "Byes," Jeremy says, using his form of 'Bryce,' and reaches up for his uncle once he figures out what's going on.
      "Hey Erin! Come see what we built!" Adele blurts out, grabs Erin's hand, and pulls her into Jeremy's room. We have a bedroom here for her, but Jeremy's room is bigger. So, they play in there. I smile at Erin's surprised look as she gets yanked away.
        "Thank you for keeping her, as always, Pam," Bryce says to me while also trying to keep Jeremy from trying to grab the tiny hairs on his face.
         Bryce never really looked comfortable holding Adele when she was a toddler either, I think as I watch my brother and son.
        "Oh, it's nothing. You know that. Besides, it's like she's become my babysitter for Jeremy." I laugh.
        "Speaking of babysitting," he adds with a smile and puts Jeremy down, "you and Simon need some time alone. Maybe I could attempt to make up a small part of what I owe you?"
         "You owe me nothing," I say.
         "I knew you'd say that," he says as he walks around the counter, grabs an apple, and bites off a piece as he walks back around the counter.

     He looks like he can't decide whether or not to sit in one of the chairs. Then he speaks while he chews, "But I'm offering anyway. Just work something out with me. I bet Simon wouldn't mind."

       "Wouldn't mind what?" I hear my husband ask as he walks in the kitchen.
       "Bryce, don't talk with your mouth full," I say.
       "I will if I want to," he says and smacks his mouth in an even more annoying fashion.

     Then he takes another bite and does it again.
     "It's a wonder Erin hasn't run screaming from your horrible manners," I growl to his Cheshire cat grin... that's full of mashed up apple.
      "Oh, my manners around her are just fine. I reserve this special for you."

      He takes another bite, chews for a second, and opens his mouth to show me.
      "What wouldn't I mind?" Simon asks again before I launch myself at my irritating little brother and start trying to snatch the now-sticky apple from his hand.
        "Ew! Stop opening your mouth!" I yell at Bryce when he starts laughing and stuff comes flying out of his mouth. "That's so gross!" I successfully swipe the stupid apple from his hand.

     "Hey! you made me drop my apple!" he accuses me with a mockingly-hurt voice. "Five second rule!" he hollers and tries to reach for it again.
      That's when the slap-fight begins.
      I'm so mad, and he keeps laughing! In his efforts to get the apple, he's wound up laying on the floor at my feet while I keep slapping his hands away.
      "Five seconds is up," I say and kick the apple onto the carpet.
      "Well, you know the time is actually relative. It's still good, and I'm hungry."
      Simon speaks up and says, "I burned the hot dogs."

     Bryce starts laughing again, and I lightly punch him. He makes me lose my temper faster than anyone else anywhere, anytime.
      "Well then, we need those apples even more or we'll starve!" he laughs.
    "When you two children," Simon speaks up again like he's bored, "are ready to stop fighting, maybe we can figure out what to eat?"
       "Apples!" Bryce roars with laughter. I'm really surprised Adele or Erin haven't come out to see what's going on. Bryce keeps dodging my hits. "Chill, Pam," he says finally and grabs my fists before tripping me with his leg. I tuck myself in to keep from landing hard on the floor.
       Just as quick as my temper flared up, it's gone before I say calmly, "I'll make a salad."
       The doorbell rings. I'd invited Jesse.

    Bryce hops up from the floor to answer it, and I see out of the corner of my eye that both are surprised to see the other one.
     Jesse is like a second brother to me, and I sensed a feeling of dejection coming from him last night. That's why I invited him today. He says he divorced himself from his parents, and I hate that. I'd give anything to have my parents back. Still, over the years, I've considered him part of the family. I thought inviting him would be good since I didn't expect Bryce and Erin. I was surprised he took me up on the offer since neither of us expected Bryce to come. He's more comfortable around him than me.

    I plan on getting whatever it is that's bothering him out of him if I can help it.
    "So how was last night?" Bryce asks him, and my ears perk up. Maybe I won't have to resort to tricks to get it out of him.
     "I don't know if tricking her into that outfit was the best idea," Jesse says as he leans on the counter.
      "Really?! I thought it was genius," Bryce says back with that devilish grin of his. I roll my eyes and get the stuff out of the fridge that I need for the salad.
       Still... a 'her.' Oh boy, here we go again.
       "It made her uncomfortable. She thought you were setting us up."
       "I was," Bryce admits with a shrug.
       Jesse laughs. "I guessed as much, but she didn't appreciate it. Turned me down flat."
       Jeremy pulls up and holds onto Bryce's leg as a very thoughtful look comes across his little face. Bryce slightly leans over while he laughs at what Jesse said and pats his nephew's head.
       "Am I going to get to hear who you two are talking about?" I ask.
       "No," Bryce says, but Jesse interrupts him.
       "The new waitress," Jesse answers me. Bryce looks at him with a 'why did you tell her?!' expression. Jesse shrugs. Jeremy grunts.
       Bryce continues on with the conversation, "Flat-flat or flat-but-maybe-later flat?"
       Jesse rests his chin on his hand before he says, "I hope it's the second one."
       I jump in. "Just what you need."
       "Yeah, but she's probably not going anywhere," Jesse answers me.
       "That's true," I admit. I've lost count how many times Jesse's gotten rejected for anything long term.
       "Um, Pam?" Bryce interjects. "I think Jeremy's..."
       "Yeah, I figured as much," I say. I'd given up on potty training him for the moment. He doesn't act interested, and I don't want to expend the effort if it's not going to work.

     I hear a bedroom door open as Erin and Adele walk out of Jeremy's room. Adele walks into the bathroom and Erin walks up to Bryce, looking a little nervous.
      As I walk by her, I hear Jesse say, "Hello, Erin."
      "Hi," she almost whispers back. Well that was a little weird.

     By the time I come out of Jeremy's room, Bryce and Erin are flirting and Jesse's staring at the napkin holder, brooding about something or other. I walk back into the kitchen, worrying about Jesse, and I finish up the salad before I take care of the burnt hot dogs.

    "No!" I cry out when the dishwasher makes a sputtering noise and water starts flooding into the dining area.
     Jesse, who'd been talking to Simon in the living room, walks over and says, "Just back off and let me handle it." Simon starts trying to say he'll do it, but Jesse adamantly insists that he be the one to fix it. Erin pulls out a mop.

    "No, Erin, you don't have to do that," I start trying to tell her to stop.

    "Nonsense. I got it."
    "Be careful, Erin. You don't want to be standing in the water just in case," Jesse says.
    "I'm careful. You try and not get yourself electrocuted," Erin says back to him as the two work side-by-side in my house. I sigh and pick up a plate of food. Jesse says something to make her laugh as Bryce comes up behind me and gets his own plate.

     Jesse continues to fix the dishwasher as I eat and finish and give Jeremy a bottle. Simon walks out to get the grill cleaned up before the game starts.

    Jesse's a Wolves fan, so he's not very liked by Simon and Bryce at the moment as the guys debate the game before it starts.
    Still, we all have a good time watching the game:

    "Why do they have to run their mouths so much at halftime? Neither of them have any idea of what they're talking about!" Bryce complains to the television. "Augh, I guess this is a good time to get to work."
     So Bryce and Erin leave for the bar with Bryce saying he'll watch the game on the bar's big screen.

Erin

    I stay at Bryce's bar until the game ends. The Llamas lost, and Bryce complains that he'll have to tolerate all the heckling from Jesse about it.
     I tell him I have to go home and work on my book. Honestly, I think if he could, he'd keep me with him every minute of the day. I like that, but still, I have to get my book written and published before I can relax with my little cushion of money intact.
    I laugh when I remember Bryce's antics while the game was going as I park my scooter and turn off the engine.

    "There you are," I hear a sickeningly-familiar voice say from the direction of my front porch steps.