5: A Friend's Help

Bryce

     I'm an idiot. I'm a complete and total idiot.

     How could I have been so incredibly stupid? I think as I watch yet another woman running from me. You see, this is what happens when I let them get too close.

     I let out an angry huff and walk towards a table as I hear her little scooter start up and drive away.

     I did a major no-no, I think, using a term I hadn't used with Adele in a long time. I let myself start to feel again, start to care. And what do I get in return? Rejection. 

     

     I meet a girl two days ago and go all 'goo-goo eyed' like Jesse would say and not even think about how this could come back and bite me in the ass. I didn't even take the time to think this through. I just walked into the park, saw a stunningly beautiful woman, and lost my head.

     Damn her!

     I hadn't really planned on doing that just now, kissing her like that. Thanks to Jesse, I'd had to know if it was a date or not. Why did I have to go and kiss her like that?

    She just... A pang stabs me in the heart, and I wince from the sting of it. She just... She was standing there looking so scared and sad that I couldn't stand it!

     I was blinded by her beautiful face... and hair... eyes... Shit! Then she just had to mention that thing about her ex-fiance, making me feel empathy for her.

     I let out a pained exhale and hear footsteps approaching me. I look up and see Lynne sitting across the table from me.

     "She left," I say before Lynne can get a word in. "I did what I do best and ran her off."

     "I doubt that's what happened. Talk," she orders.

     "What's there to say? I kissed her, and she ran away. End of story," I say and shrug my shoulders as I sit back in the chair.

    After she sits there and thinks for a minute, she says, "Look. I admit I don't know the whole of it, but have you considered that Erin is shy?"

     "Yes, of course I have. I'd place bets she is," I say and look at her like I'm wondering if she thinks I'm stupid. "Look, it's not like I attacked her or anything! In fact..." I make an exasperated, growling noise. I don't want to talk about this with anybody.

     "Did she say or do anything that would explain why she ran away?" Lynne asks.

     I stand up and push my chair back under the table. I scowl down at Lynne and say, "I need a drink. Want anything?"

     She looks back up at me seriously and replies, "I want you to sit and think about this before you go jumping to conclusions like I know you're doing. Erin isn't Ashley."

     "Shut up," I throw back at her as I walk to the bar. 'Shut up' is the worst thing to say according to Adele. I feel bad I said it to Lynne. Another 'wonderful' thing to add to my list of bad things to happen to me tonight.

Erin

      I only make it as far as a few steps into my house before I collapse on the floor, crying. I can only imagine what Bryce must be thinking right now.
     Sean, you are such an asshole! Will I ever be normal again?
     I'm sick of crying about this! Why am I doing it again?! A heartbroken sob escapes me. I double over from the pain I feel and place my forehead on the floor, my arms around my middle.
     How did I talk myself into going to that party? I guilted myself into it. Bryce just had looked so hopeful that he could convince me to go, and I knew I couldn't hide in my house forever.
     Then, the look on his face when I showed up... and finding out he'd called around asking his friends to watch for me. So that's how he found me at the library like that yesterday. That was no accident. All his friends looked so hopefully at me too. Why?
      "I understand, probably more than anyone on this island." That's what he said. What happened to him? Shit. Here I am feeling sorry for myself when it looks like the woman that was/is Adele's mother probably hurt him. Oh no! No, I'm not ready, but he was and I literally pushed him away. I sob louder again with this knowledge.

     I sit up again and wipe my eyes. But, I told him I wasn't in a place where I could start anything, yet he still persisted in trying to get me to do so. "Maybe I can help get rid of the hurt" is what he said before he kissed me. No, Bryce. It didn't work! It just brought up those memories again. I simply can't trust anyone yet.
     Will I ever be able to?
     I want to.
     Well, that's that then. If I want to then I can. I just... need time.
     I hate you, Sean. You too, Meredith.

     I gather myself together somehow, and I make a sort-of plan. The first part of my plan is to get some sleep. I need to sleep on this before I go jumping into something. Everything might already be ruined, but I'm not just going to leave it at that.
     I lie down on my pillow, and more tears course down my cheeks, sometimes getting stuck in my ears. I roll over onto my side to keep it from happening more.
     I force myself to stop thinking about Sean and instead think of that kiss tonight. That is, before I ruined everything by freaking out. If nothing else, that kiss proved to me that it is possible to feel stuff like that again. For the longest time during that kiss, I didn't think about Sean one tiny bit. That is, until I thought about thinking about him. It all went downhill from there.
     Just think about Bryce. It's not Bryce's fault that Sean's a dickhead. I actually let out a tiny laugh as I think, He even called him an idiot.
     Bryce is a good guy... not to mention a total babe. I bet he sets hearts aflutter everywhere he goes.
     What if I'm just another conquest? Okay. I have to be careful. BUT... that relieved look on his face... and the hopeful looks on his friends' faces tells me, I hope, that there's more. Maybe I'm reading too much into it again.
     I hold my other pillow tight as I think about how important, all of a sudden, what I'm going to do tomorrow is to me. I may not have friends all over the island, but he does. And I'll just go find them. If nothing else, I'll catch him at his bar sometime. I don't want to wait that long, however. 
     I wake up early and start hitting likely locations where his friends might work.

     I thought I'd try the spa at the top of the hill first and work my way down. As it turns out, I'm lucky enough to find someone quickly, Lynne. She seemed nice last night; I hope I'm not wrong in that guess. I find her sitting on a sofa of some kind, and she looks surprised to see me.
     I say hi to her as I walk up. Once her look of surprise leaves her face, it gets replaced with a look of angered distrust. I suppose I don't blame her. Still, I wonder if my 'another girl likes him when he starts dating' scenario for my book might actually be true.
     "What can I do for you, Erin?" she asks in an even voice.
     I take in a deep breath and let it out. "I'm looking for Bryce, could you tell me where I might find him?"

     "You left in a hurry last night," she states instead of answering the question.
     Ugh, either you know where I might find him or you don't. Don't waste my time!
     "Yes, that's why I need to talk to him." Other than that, butt out.
     "I can give you some good guesses where he might be, but let me tell you something first," she says.  
     Oh great, please don't harp on me, I think.
      She continues, "I don't know your story, but Bryce has been deeply hurt. I'll let him tell you what happened if he wants to. I don't want to see my oldest friend hurt again, so let's not become enemies before we even really know each other. Because if you do hurt him, I'll do my best to make your life a living hell."

     Bitch, I think as a first reaction to what she said. Then I put myself in her shoes. She wouldn't be this way if she wasn't really worried about him. That thought actually gives me hope.
     "I realize you're just worried about him, so I'll tell you I have no intention of hurting him. That's why I need to find him and talk to him," I say, hoping I'm not snapping at her. I don't need to bitch back at her if I need her help.
     She sighs and smiles a little bit, and I see the Lynne I saw last night. She tells me a few places where I might find him. I thank her and start looking.
     I try the first one, no good. Then I get lost. The second place I try yields nothing as well. I start to lose hope. She wouldn't tell me where he lives, and I only have a couple places left to try before I give up and just go sit at a table at his bar with a notebook in case I get another idea for my book.

      I catch a break at the fourth, and last, place Lynne told me to look. I find him sitting and brooding, looking out at the ocean. My heart starts pounding in my ears as I try to control my nerves. I clench my fists - no backing out now. Sandals brushing the grass at my feet, I walk towards where he sits on the sand.