89: Aunt Marie

Marie

     I open my eyes in the early dawn and wonder where I am for a moment. Then, I remember: Pam and Simon's.

     What we did in their bed… And Jesse acted like that turned him on even more. That was…

     A hand slips between my thighs and starts moving against me.

     "Jesse!" I gasp, worried Adele is already awake.

     He moans quietly behind me but doesn't stop. His free hand parts my derriere, and he slides his erection in the space formed from my parted cheeks. My eyes widen and my mouth opens when he slowly starts moving his hips. With a shaking hand, I try to stop his.

     "No, Marie. Let me," he sternly begs, and his leg traps my upper one, pulling it back and parting my legs more. I feel a slight tickle before his first two fingers enter me, moving more rapidly than last night but still not as fast as my body surprisingly demands.

     He rolls over onto his back and takes me with him. I lie on top of him with his hand still moving, and is other one tightly holds my breast while also rocking the weight of my body against his hard shaft.

     "Jesse," I breathe, "let me turn over, and I'll give you what you want."

     "I'm getting what I want: this." He nibbles on my shoulder as he rocks his hips against me in a tempo that increases in sync with his fingers' movements.

      I helplessly hold onto his forearm when the hand pleasuring me becomes the one moving me against him as it presses and rapidly pushes me up and down along his hard length. His breathing becomes erratic, and his free hand squeezes my breast hard.

      "Come for me, Marie," he whispers into my ear, and, like a puppet on a string, I do as he says. A groan comes out of him as both hands take hold of my hips to wiggle my backside against him, and he finally comes onto my back.

      Immediately wanting to go clean myself up, I make my intentions known. He sighs and lets me get up and go to the restroom.

      After washing off my back with a cloth, I feel a wetness on my leg. I lean over to get it with the cloth, and my head starts pounding with my suddenly-rapid heartbeat. With my free hand, I hold onto the sink for support as the reality of last night hits me.

     Jesse… didn't… He didn't…

     A strong desire to beat my boyfriend to a pulp sends me flying back into the bedroom. Upon seeing my expression, Jesse sits up in bed with wide eyes. My nostrils flare out like a bull's as I scour the floor with my eyes, looking for a foil wrapper. I find none.

     "Marie?" Jesse asks with his brow crinkled up in worry and concern.

     "Do not talk to me!" I quietly snap as I pick up a nearby wastebasket, empty of everything except the bag to hold the trash.

     "Whoa. What is it?" he asks as he obstinately talks to me anyway and gets out of bed.

     "Come any closer, and you'll regret it," I warn, taking a strong stance. I know how I can use even the washcloth in my hand as a weapon.

     He gulps visibly and freezes. "What are you looking for?"

     I shake as the desire to wrench his arm out of his socket and bruise a rib roils through me. "A foil wrapper," I answer him coldly.

     "I didn't… have one… last night."

     I punch him square in the jaw and find it every bit as hard as Dawson's was on the day he cheated on me. While he holds his face in shock, I gather my clothing and escape to the bathroom, wanting to slam the door behind me but knowing that would wake the little ones.

     After locking the door, I burst into tears. I'd known something was different last night, but I assumed it was just Jesse being a little wilder than before.

     Why? I cry out to myself.

     "Marie?" Jesse calls through the door, proving how thick his skull really is in assuming I'm going to answer him. "Marie, we can go to the pharmacy." He doesn't say anything else, and I hear his phone ring. He answers it, but I don't listen to the conversation. I'm too consumed by my fury.

     'We' aren't going anywhere, I think once I'm dressed.

     I throw open the door. He'd gotten dressed while he waited for me to come out. "Give me your keys," I demand.

     "I'll drive you."

     "Non, Jesse. You will stay here and watch the little ones while I'm gone."

     "You can't drive a stick, Marie," he points out cautiously. Honestly, I barely know how to drive at all. It wasn't necessary for me back home. "We can go after Adele and Jeremy get up."

     "Yes," I snarl sarcastically, "let's take my boss's daughter and nephew with us to the pharmacy to buy a pill."

     "Um… while you're getting it, I could buy them some candy as a distraction if that's what you want." He continues to watch me warily.

     I consider my options. I don't want to go anywhere with Jesse. I don't want to leave Adele and Jeremy after I promised their parents I'd care for them. I need to wash the sheets… I really need to wash the sheets.

     It will be this afternoon at the earliest before I can get there, I think in a panic.

     "How could you do this to me?" I hiss.

     "Marie, it's not a big deal. I just… needed… more last night, especially after what you'd told me," he says carefully.

     "Don't bring that into this!" I snarl.

     "I'd planned on sleeping on the couch, but when we came in here… and everything yesterday, not just what you told me last night… I…"

     "I trusted you because I was only half aware, and you knew that too!" A few sobs escape as everything that had been so good last night gets tarnished by Jesse's skill in bed seeming a ploy to distract me from his lack of using a condom. How was I to know the difference? Every time has been a new experience for me. Before, I thought that was a good thing. Now…

     He reaches up to wipe my cheeks, and I automatically bat his hand away. The action repeats when he tries with his other hand, and quickly, we're fighting as he tries to subdue me. I won't let that happen. He lunges for me, obviously planning on pinning me the to the door behind me, but I twist and turn at the last second, making him hit the door alone. He turns around slowly, and suddenly, I feel I'm back in my old backyard, my old old backyard before Mom and Dad divorced, and Dad is teaching me my first lessons.

     "Never underestimate your opponent. Always watch for an opening and come at them when they least expect it," his voice repeats in my head. I remember then hitting him in the face hard enough to get his attention but not enough to hurt him. He'd laughed and praised my quick learning before saying he needed to heed his own words.

     Jesse starts taking tentative steps towards me, and I can't help but notice that he blocks both doors out of the room.

     "What do you want?" I growl.

     He answers me plainly, watching me with acute attentiveness. "To hold you in my arms and apologize."

     "You can apologize from there," I state.

     "Not the way I wanna do it," he counters and takes another careful step in my direction.

     "No. I'm too mad at you right now," I say, and I feel my face try to screw up before I can straighten it.

     He smiles adorably. "Well now, that's obvious since you took a swing at my jaw a moment ago."

     "So, you're going to have your revenge?" I ask as he takes another step forward. My eyes dart back and forth as I see an opening to his right. If I could just distract him enough…

     "Nope. I figure I deserved that, and just so's you know, you do not hit like a girl." He smiles at me proudly.

      I, in fake meekness, hold my hands in front of me in an outward display as if to ward him off. What he doesn't know is that I now have a perfect stance. "Stay back! I'm warning you… unless you want a repeat of what happened the day we met."

      "You won't hurt me," he says, thinking he's calling my bluff.

      After he takes another step, I notice he still cautiously suspects I'll knee him like I did that day because his hands come forward ever so slightly in front of his thighs.

      Knowing that if I back away any farther I won't have room to do what I need to, I feel a welcome sense of calm while simultaneously balancing my weight. Suddenly, I jump and swing my right leg around to kick Jesse on the side of his head, sending him, poorly balanced like always, falling sideways onto the bed. As soon as my kick completes, I avoid his flailing legs and escape into the hallway.
     Now what? I shouldn't leave Adele and Jeremy, even if Jesse is here.

     "Marie?" I hear Adele ask sleepily from behind me. "Are you hungry? I know where Aunt Pam keeps the cereal."

     "Thank you, but I'm going to sit on the back porch for a moment," I tell her and leave the room to avoid cracking apart in front of the almost-teenager.

     I sit down on a lounge chair and hold my middle, and my legs bounce up and down as I wonder how mad Jesse is at me right now.

     I did warn him, though.

     "Morning, Uncle Jesse," Adele says brightly from the dining table.

     "Hey, kiddo. Do you know where Aunt Marie went?" he asks her.

     'Aunt Marie'? Since when am I that?

      I hear the sliding glass door open and close, and I pull my knees closer to me.

     "One of the most dangerous things in nature is a wounded animal," I tell him in a warning sort of way.

     "Hm," he muses from where he stands several feet away. "So are vipers… polar bears… tigers… a charging rhino… blackbelts… a spooked horse… sharks. I suppose finding and approaching any of those critters wounded would only make them more dangerous."

     "A lesson some learn the hard way," I respond. Critters?

     "Some of us never learn our lesson and keep coming back for more," he says solemnly, and out of the corner of my eye, I see him leaning on the side of the house. "I'm sorry, Marie. I wish you'd let me tell you in a better way, but I understand you want your space. We can go to the pharmacy in a little while. Bryce called while I was getting dressed and said he'd be by after visiting Pamela."

     "Why did you do that?" I ask him again. He'd better know what I mean.

     "I got caught up in the moment."

     "Bullshit, Jesse. You told me, in your own words, that you'd even use one shitfaced drunk," I snap.

     His voice sounds biting as he says, "Well, don't worry. Soon, we'll go and make sure you didn't get pregnant because heaven forbid-" He stops abruptly and turns away from me, his hands on his hair with his elbows out.

     "Heaven forbid what?" I goad.

     He turns back around and says, "I want some coffee. Would you like some?"

     "No thank you," I answer crisply, and he walks into the house. If he wants to play the game of denying that we're having a fight, that's fine with me. After all, I learned from the Queen of Denial.

     After I finish changing the sheets, Bryce and Erin show up. Jesse and I do our best to continue to act as if nothing's wrong, but I see a look in Erin's eyes like she sees. Thankfully, she doesn't ask.

     He drives me to the pharmacy and insists upon paying. I let him, and he watches me take it.

     "Take me to my scooter, please," I request stiffly.

     His jaw clenches, and he holds the pharmacy door open for me, motioning for me to exit. Both of us stay silent the entire drive, and when he pulls up to his house, I barely give Martha a chance to stop before getting out without a parting word. Jesse quietly watches me start up my scooter and drive away.

     I lean into the wind as silent tears run down my face.